“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
Often times while writing my book, Wine Within Your Comfort Zone, I’d lay awake concerned about exposure, you know, making myself vulnerable by putting bits of my life ‘out there’. Then I read Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Through reading this book, I quickly understood the importance of revealing my truth. There was no hesitation, and there is no regret.
“Healthy striving is self-focused: “How can I improve?” Perfectionism is other-focused: “What will they think?”
Once I got out of my own way and started down the self-focused path my writing flowed easily, authentically, and shame free. I discovered that vulnerability is a symptom of being overly concerned about what others might think. When I focused on my purpose in writing the book—to help women believe in their personal power and tap into their inner wisdom, I let go of worry, concern, and any sort of need for perfection.
“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”
By sharing my story and my truth I walked toward self-recognition, and in essence, invited others to do the same. Sharing my imperfections helped me to release self-doubt, shame, guilt, and fear. What was left was LOVE. In so many ways, and on so many different levels I feel I’m just getting started.
“Don’t try to win over the haters; you are not a jackass whisperer.”
Given the nature of the content of my book, there will be haters. I get that and I’ve come to terms with it. Haters often use the vulnerabilities of others’ to avoid their own. It’s futile to try to win them over. The best I can do is to try and understand but not dwell on why haters do what they do, as difficult as that may be.
Next week I will hold my book, a single final proof, in my hands for the first time. Once approved by yours truly, it’s off to the press. As I write this post I am planning my first book launch. Providing there are no glitches, I predict it to be in mid November, most likely the weekend following Remembrance Day. (date and location TBA).
Even though the book is complete, I still lay awake in the middle of the night consumed by my thoughts. Once again they drift to concern, the difference is that now it’s not concern for what others’ may think, rather, it is in the form of wonder and hope that my book will have a positive impact for women. If I have reached just one woman and had a positive influence on her life then I will have validated my purpose in writing it.
Then I realize, I already have.
I am forever changed.
“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.